It's So Funny I Peed My Pants

Why we need to laugh more now than ever.

Last issue, I wrote about Breast Cancer Awareness month and shared my story of the Ugliest Bra in the world. My editorial plan was to lighten the mood this issue and talk about humor in writing. And then the world blew up (again) with Hamas attacking Israel in what is being described as Israel’s 9/11. The death and despair gripping innocent families and the growing uncertainty of how this ends is yet to be understood.

October 2023 will not be remembered as a humor-filled month. But then in the strangest of events came Pete Davidson. The self-described druggy comic. In a recent cold opening on Saturday Night Live, he delivered a sober and funny commentary about this new war, reminding me of what my research on humor has shown:

Humor is a necessary form of human expression and understanding that unites people, diffuses difficult situations, and reminds us of our humanity.

Fun research fact, there are 65 species of animals that laugh.

Today, I’m writing about humor in writing. For this issue I interviewed the amazing and funny humor writer and writing instructor, Joni B. Cole and discussed her new book of humor essays, Party Like it’s 2024, Finding the Funny in Life and Death.

Could that be any more perfect these days? I think not!

But first, here’s Pete.

Why is this opening bit funny? Some would call it gallows humor. This term means finding humor in the darkest of places. Some feel gallows humor is disrespectful. The comic who cracks a joke about 9/11 and then says, too soon? But it’s our ability to laugh that can unite us. I asked Joni Cole about dark humor as she’s not above (or beneath) writing about dark subjects and she says, In dark stories, there is the opportunity to find the weird, odd moments. The humor can unite us.

What is Humor?

Turns out humans laugh before we speak, at about 3 months. Laughter also creates social bonds. In a Scientific American article it states that we are more likely to laugh in a group and that genuine laughter can’t be faked. Pay attention the next time someone laughs and see if you can determine their level of genuine mirth, comfort, and intentions. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this if you do it.

Psychology Today says, “Humor, the capacity to express or perceive what's funny, is both a source of entertainment and a means of coping with difficult or awkward situations and stressful events.”

Some humor terms defined

Humor as a literary device

Joni and I discussed humor in writing as well as the how and why it’s important. She put on her teacher hat and explained, “humor is a narrative technique that makes our characters authentic in all genres.”

Humor in a tense situation can add literary air to scenes and make tense scenes deeper and more meaningful. She is quick to say that humor in writing is just as difficult as any technique. In her own writing, she explains she often adds the humor in revisions and not always the first or second pass.

Joni tip: Both dialogue and a character’s internal monologue are good places to add humor.

What is the Source of Humor?

Joni is a writer’s writer in that her essays are so tightly crafted you read them effortlessly. Then you study them and say, damn. I couldn’t resist asking her in a student-teacher way how she does this.

She explains that she and all writers are naturally observant. (Thanks, that gives me hope.)

“Life in its silliest moments and in moments of gravitas is ripe for humor. The way we [people] act and think, the way events unfold translate to my writing.”

She used an example of a recent letter she got from her cable company telling her that at a precise time they had restored her service. I wouldn’t have found that funny but she was taken by the odd precision and the fact they even bothered to tell her. When she pointed out the humor (or it could have been her story telling technique) I too saw that it could be funny.

She’s quick to say that not all funny moments or events can or should grow into written pieces. Sometimes a joke or funny thought, no matter how much she likes it has to go. Keeping a joke and layering a dull set-up before or explanation after ruins the humor.

Joni has a different, maybe it’s a practiced, way of observing people. She likes to listen to conversations between people and take note of what they wear or how they act. She then considers these moments of humanity as fodder for stories and she often presents them as characters in a story. She immediately sees characters in situations. Sometimes they are real people, other times they are fictional. Humor and observation go together.

Humor as Commentary

Vlad the Impaler Source:wikicommons

One of my favorite essays in Party Like it’s 2044 is “Dear Mr. Impaler.” This is a letter written to Vlad the Impaler - the notorious, vicious ruler who in the 1400s killed an estimated 80,000 people and impaled many of his most hated enemies. He’s the source of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I know, super funny fodder for a humor essay, right? I asked Joni where the idea for this essay came from.

She said that despite not even being able to kill ants in her kitchen, she’s always wondered if she were somehow related to Vlad. (I honestly couldn’t tell if she was joking.)

The essay is written as a letter to Vlad where she says to him she’s worried that he’s a relative and please don’t take that the wrong way. It’s funny, creative, and absurd. But it’s also as Joni explains, commentary on recent past political issues where she felt politicians were “impaling” people, caging children, and acting in a viscous and cruel way.

Humor and commentary is well known to English speaking audiences. Many of us turn to late night comedians and shows like “Saturday Night Live” (as seen in the Pete Davidson clip above) to find a release and commonality in the news and ick happening in the world. But this isn’t new. The Bard himself, William Shakespeare wrote plays for the people and they were political commentary on events of the day. The Elizabethan Day. And he had to be cautious not to piss off Queen Elizabeth.

We Don’t Take Humor Seriously

Joni’s favorite form of writing is the personal essay. She likes the quick in and out of this short format. At times, her work is more fiction than non-fiction but it’s always bite sized. She treats each piece with the same amount of care as a literary essay, researching facts, deep revisions, and seeking feedback when she’s ready to share her pages. Yet despite the craft she displays, she admits that humor isn’t taken as seriously as literary fiction or creative non-fiction or investigative journalism. She points to award shows that often overlook comedies, even those that are big or small screen successes. I found this interesting article detailing comedic snubs at the Oscars.

The last fifty years’ worth of Best Picture winners at the Academy Awards can be broken down into the following (admittedly broad) categories: 29 dramas, 17 films based on real events, two sci-fi or fantasy, one musical and one comedy. The victorious comedy in question was Annie Hall in 1978, and the only drama with quasi comedic ties is American Beauty in 2000. When expressed in these numerical terms, it all seems quite ludicrous. Albeit an equally vital and surface counterpoint worth clinging to before we descend into the tempestuous rapids of academia is a truth that I can’t elucidate the fundamentals of in words, but there is almost no need to — imagine if you will, Coneheads beating Schindler’s List to Best Picture in 1993. 

However, humor does has merit as commentary, as social glue, as heightening dark narrative themes, as creating three dimensional characters, to name just a few. Humor can often be the missing element to round out both fiction and nonfiction pieces. It’s okay to be funny. It’s okay to laugh. And right now, more than ever, we need it.

Joni’s latest collection of humor essays Party Like It’s 2044 is now available. I also recommend her book, Toxic Feedback, a collection of essays written for writers on surviving feedback at all stages of the writing process. I’ve pressed this book into the hands of many writers. And in January, Joni will be presenting a webinar on Toxic Feedback to the Women’s Fiction Writers Association.

You can find these two books and several others at my Bookshop.org affiliate link below.